February 2016 Posts

Sex After Menopause..Who Knew?

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Sex After Menopause

Who Knew?

Who Knew?

Sex after menopause is often a case of the spirit and heart are willing but the body, not so much. If it isn’t one thing it’s another, be it vaginal dryness, arthritis, sciatica and more. When I found certain physical discomforts prevented me from fully enjoying what had been one of my favorite pastimes, I thought, what’s a girl to do?


Yes, yes I know, there is now a little pink pill promising women similar assistance as the men’s little blue pill. However, as many of us do not have a libido problem, the risks outlined by the FDA question whether this pill is a safe for long term use. Thus I decided it was time to investigate other options. After exhaustive research, no I ‘m kidding, but it did take me some research and trial and error time to be able to say, ladies there is help on the way!

To begin there are infinite varieties of chemical and electro-mechanical options available for all tastes and appetites plus a number of sexual positions promising to help lessen physical discomfort during sex. All this led me to believe an educated woman can design her own blueprint for success in the bedroom!

Lubricants ~ While there are many sexual lubricants on the market, most do not live up to their promise for the post menopausal woman. When I visited my savvy GYN she suggested I try Liquid Silk** which offers the “luxury of a non-tacky water-based lubricant or Luvena** “a probiotic, silky smooth, never  sticky, gliding solution for sensual pleasure”.  Yes, they are more expensive but, in my experience, far superior for getting the job done.

Electro Mechanical Support~ If you don’t already use a hand held device ( I don’t mean a television remote) invest in an EMS, a vibrator. They are available in an infinite variety of shapes, sizes, colors and textures at your local sex/adult store or on Amazon.com or other such online services.  Whether in your hands or your partner’s, use it for getting to, or close to, orgasm before coitus. That’s the trick, ladies, getting to or near to orgasm before coitus. This loosens our vaginal grip, and when coupled with one of the lovely aforementioned lubricants, offers that sought after magical moment, in ways the tried and true foreplay of yesterday perhaps no longer provides.

Position is Everything~ In Preventions Magazine* February 16th edition, an article,“ More Ooh, and Less Ouch”* promises to turn the “moans of discomfort back into moans of pleasure” achieved using the positions seen below. Along with steps one and two, I tried two of the positions and that’s when I decided to write this post!


**Trademarked names and the Feb 2016 Prevention magazine article: Health-Bedroom Hacks Prevention.com 

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In Praise of Younger Men: Jean Moreau and Me

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In Praise of Younger Men

Jean Moreau and Me: In Praise of Younger Men

During fourteen years of serious serial dating, after my divorce, I rarely, if ever, dated men my age or older, rather I often indulged in relationships with men sometimes twenty years younger. My son survived this phase by telling me when one of my young men lasted a year I was welcome to introduce him to the family. Not one lasted a year. Still I had a penchant for younger men and struggled with, after the obvious, why this was so, until I read this 2003 NYT interview with Jean Moreau.

Although the newsprint is yellow with age the wisdom of Ms. Moreau remains with me, helps define me, and deserves to be shared .

Ms. Moreau begins, “I’ve always liked younger men. Men my age, except for a few, smell of the indoors. They’ve succeeded and made or lost a lot of money and they have relationships to women based on that. Their ideas are ready made, and there’s a relationship with power, Or else they are hypochondriacal and thinking of their own death. And if a woman is a little intelligent they flee from her as if she had the plague. There is nothing to learn, nothing to teach them, whereas I have the feeling of being a perpetual student.

I have more fun with 20 or 25 year old boys. We talk, we argue. They need something I can help with-a choice of school, or what job to get. “

Moreau stops and lights a cigarette, takes a long drag, and goes on, “Except for geniuses, geniuses or young men”.

By the way, I took her wisdom to heart: my life partner of 25 years is both younger than me, by six years, and a genius!

Him and Me

Him and Me